Unkle Munky Pg 140
Unkle Munky is now available, without the ads, here >>> ---- *Artist - Bombay Bicycle Club. *Song - Evening/Morning. *Videos prone to removal. ---- Who's Not in a Room ---- Hairy Toe Query Ruth from Hull asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that people with hairy toes are more sensitive than their hairless counterparts? Unkle Munky says -''' One moment please. I’ll ask my assistant, Ms. Mary Motion Sickness. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky’s assistant) replies - Fcuk off, Munky!'' 'Unkly Munky confirms -' Ahem. It would seem so, Ruth. ---- Nana States *Pictured: Nana States enjoys a cigarette after a hard day at the nursery. ---- Yellow peril Jason from Brighton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding Dulux Canary yellow emulsion paint? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Jason, I did indeed receive said email. It appears to me that painting your room in such a colour was always going to cause you problems with regards to locating your canary. I would, on this occasion, suggest that you paint your walls in a suitably contrasting hue to that of your feathery friend. ---- Homework Corner Janet from Birmingham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was wondering if you could help me with the following mathematical problem? '''Question: Mrs. Smith buys thirty Fun-Sized mars bars for her child’s birthday party. Prior to the party she and a neighbour eat four. How many fun sized Mars bars will be left when the party starts? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Janet, There will be twenty five Fun-Sized Mars bars remaining when the party starts. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky’s assistant) says - Huh? You’ve got that wrong, Munky. There will be twenty six remaining.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' That’s where you’re wrong, Mary. I’m quite partial to said confectionary product and would not be able to resist eating one if put in the position of having to count them. ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Oh fer fcuks sake!'' ---- Advertisement ---- Getting (rid of) the Hump Mark from Bury asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that you have set up a charity to help Humpback whales? And if so, why? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Mark, I can indeed confirm that I am currently in the process of setting up a charity to help our humpbacked friends. It seems ridiculous to me that in this day and age it is still not feasible to treat humpbacks. My charity will help fund research into the eventual curing of said condition. Mark replies - What the fuc…? ---- International Women's Day Janet from Ludlow asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Will you be doing anything to celebrate International Women’s Day? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Janet, I have purchased a new a porno magazine and will be celebrating just as soon as I can get ten minutes to myself. ''Ms. Motion Sickness adds - Oh fer fuck’s sake!''' '''Unkle Munky replies -' Shut it, Mary! ---- Munky Tackles Religion David from Dunstable asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Do you believe that god exists? 'Unkle Munky says -' No. David replies - Could you expand on that a little, Munky? 'Unkle Munky says -' No I do not believe that god exists. David replies - Oh for fuck’s sake! ---- What's in a Name? ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>> Munky's Twitterings>>>